Matt: (Matt and John look at Jack) what’s a four letter word that sounds like zero?
Jack: (Looks very confused and slightly annoyed) Wha? (Matt and John look at him with hope)…What the F-
(Title cuts in and music plays)
(Close up on a scrunching up the crossword. P and A are in disbelief.)
Matt: Wha?! Why did you do that for? I was going to win an Nintendo 360!
Jack: Err… umm… I’m sorry it’s just-
Matt: You have no consideration for other people’s feelings!
Jack: But I thought you guys were seriously hurt or something
(Pause)
John: It’s not like you would have won any way…
(Pause)
Matt: What do you mean? You said the Magic 8 ball said I was gonna win!
John: …I lied (Matt looks stunned. Pause)
Jack: Any way, how did you guys get here anyway?
John: The Magic 8 Ball took us here. I was thinking of Thorpe Park but Matt the animal lover here (looks at Matt) was day dreaming about the woods.
Matt: You're mean, I did nothing!
Jack: What? I don’t understand
John: Well… I have this special power you see… I ask the Magic 8 ball to take me anywhere I want and as long as I keep the picture in my head it will take me there, this involves other people if they are tagging along too.
Jack: (Laughs) that’s a bit stupid!
John: Don’t insult her! (Talks to the Magic 8 ball and strokes it) It's ok he didn’t mean it, he’s just ignorant.
Jack: O…kay. Can it take us back?
John: I’ll try. Lets all think of a place (Talks to the magic 8 ball) Magic 8 ball can you take us back home? (Shakes the 8 ball, they all surround it. A message slowly appears on the magic 8 ball “Ask me later”) Ask me later?! What?! (talks to the 8 ball) I’m sorry sweety, I didn’t mean to shout. Are you upset with the bad man you called you stupid, don’t worry M is here –
(Jack and Matt walk off, leaving John talking to the 8 ball)
Matt: So… Who are you anyway and how did you get here?
Jack: I’m A and umm… I’m not sure (puts hand on chin as he looks up)
(FLASH BACK STARTS)
Jack: (walks along and falls down stairs) Whoaah! (shot of him lying at the bottom of the stairs)
Lawyer: (appears from nowhere) Have you had an accident at home or work? At Lawyers that sue for gold we are real lawyers that get you the gold that you deserve... all of it! (shot of hand trapped in door) You see that hand? Sued! (shot of block of wood on floor) You see that bit of wood that shouldn't of been there? Sued! (shot of stairs) You see them stairs? Sued! (shot of lawyer) So if your interested call '0800 give me gold'... we're real lawyers!
(FLASH BACK ENDS)
Matt: Pfft, that’s your power? (Laughs)
Jack: (Dazed and confused) Wha…What? …Power?
Matt: We all saw it
Jack: What? My flash back? I didn’t know I could do that… I don’t remember a lawyer being there.
John: I didn’t know I could teleport with my magic 8 ball.
Matt: That’s your power, you have flash backs in advert form… and we can see it too! (Laughs)
Jack: (Doesn’t look amused) So how did I get this?
John: It’s this place I think
(Screams are heard from the distance getting closer, they all turn around)
Jack: What’s that? (takes a step towards the scream)
(P.O.V shot of person running, panting and screaming. Shot of everyone from behind watching W stop)
Jack: Are you ok?
Blaire Witch Project girl: (out of breath) Get…. yourselves…. out of here!
(Matt, Jack and John look confused)
Matt: What?
Blaire Witch Project girl: (catches her breath) THERE’S A MAN EATING PLUSHY TOY BACK THERE!!!
John: What?!P: No way!
Blaire Witch Prject girl: (looks back) RUN! (Runs off screen)
Jack: … What’s going on?!
John: AAHHH!!!
Matt: Oh wow a 'Hello Kitty'!
John: It’s a killer 'Hello Kitty'!
Matt: Don’t worry guys (close up on Matt's face)… I think I’ve just discovered my power. (walks up to the polar bear) Hello, 'Hello Kitty' (close up on bears face, then back to Matt)
Jack: (whispers) What is he doing?
John: (loudly) I don’t know. ('Hello Kitty' looks at M and snarls, he looks back at Matt and attacks)
Matt: AAHHHH!!! John you idiot! (he collapses whilst being mauled, the other two look away and run. Extreme close ups on 'Hello Kitty' attacking Matt. We see John and Jack stop, out of breath)
Jack: … Are you ok?
John: Yeah, you?
Jack: Yeah… you going to be ok?
John: Sure, why?
Jack: You’re friend just got killed…
John: Yeah… he’ll be remembered (voice is heard from a distance “I’m ok!”)
Jack: What was that?
John: Yup…. He’ll always be remembered (voice heard from distance “No seriously guys I’m ok! Wait for me!”) … Always
(They continue walking through the woodland. Suddenly they are at the exit)
Jack: There's the exit?!
John:
Jack: Oh no! (shot of the 'Hello Kitty' sitting in the way of the exit)
John: Right that's it! (Looks at the magic 8 ball) Magic 8 ball, shall I go over there and kick that 'Hello Kitty'? (Shakes the magic 8 ball) Yes! Hold this (plants the magic 8 ball in Jacks hand and runs up to the 'Hello Kitty' and kicks it) Whooaaah!(They both run out of the woodland and onto the path where there is a road)
Jack: (Puts his arms in the air in triumph) Free dome!
John: (Looks at the camera) Can you stop filiming us now?
Off Screen Director: No sorry mate, we have another three series to make out of this.
Jack: What? What the f-
(Camera cuts. Fin.)
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